A friend told me to think about stuff long term, including partner, job, etc. So far, I've smoothed things out with said partner, who is ever so awesome and understanding and downright sweet, even in the middle of me PMS'ing and bitching and being a mass of insecurity. As for my job, I love it, but have been beginning to lose steam from the long demanding hours and little pay. Like what a colleague/friend said, it's just a job and not a career; the same thing applies to mine. I am seriously thinking of, once learning how to drive and moving out, of applying for internships in Houston, either in PR or Publishing. 'Coz I like to write, and have a degree in Communications, and a minor in Literature. Plus a 9-5 job will have benefits (moreso) and will most definitely pay more. And being a yoga teacher just ain't cutting it at the end of the month. Man I hate scrimping from day to day now, especially when something had struck my fancy and I have to worry til the next paycheck, and sometimes even after that. And I want to live here and succeed, not move back "home." Besides, I have no intention of running a studio: I want to just continue teaching, so for now that will have to mean part time teaching, and another job in the meantime: a better paying one. The only challenge I see right now is I have a non-US degree; hopefully I can hurdle this with an internship. And maybe a crash course in Web Design? Plans, plans. Hopefully I can do this by the end of the year. My aunt said, though, that the hardest job is the first, and even if I don't know how to drive yet to look, NOW, no more procrastinating, even if I have to take a cab to work, and even if the first job is not what I *want*-want. Yikes, but I guess if that's what it takes...? Ok, now to get my suits and nice blouses and shoes from Manila...
One thing still going for me, I guess, is that I'm only 23 (almost 24) and am still relatively young. Won't be forever, though, so gotta get moving. I remember what my boss told me to think about back when I first got here and was freaking out and being all scared: Where do I see myself 3 years from now? I don't know: teaching yoga full-time was it, but now is not so, anymore. Living in the US, though, is still the desire. So gotta make it work.
Aside from Bikram yoga, I'm also starting to like climbing. And hiking. Crap I want to do them again. And I want to get gear. Double, triple crap.
And advanced yoga classes, now that I was taught full camel and pigeon. I need to do that at least once. And finally ease my mind about taking class before teaching; gotta learn if I want to have a regular practice. Then maybe I can also get out of this munchy funk and lose weight again. Dammit.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
April to Spring
It's April already. God, how time flies. Honestly, I had no idea that when you are immersed in work, in living, everything else gets blurred along the way...or can be blurred, unless you make a conscious effort for it not to.
So basically, it's been work, work, work. I love my job. And it's more than a job, after a while. It's my vocation, my profession. It also helps that we are required to practice in the hot room, as well. There are days harder than others, and more exhilarating, but I guess that's just how life is, in general, with highs and lows, so you can differentiate between, and appreciate, each one.
The weather has also changed drastically, at least here in Houston: from 40-50 at night, to 60, now to 70-75 (Fahrenheit). I went out last night to help a colleague, and I remarked at the change in temperature. Of course, that also translates to the hot room, so it's been really humid. And it can only get more humid, and hotter, not of our doing, but according to Mother Nature's (and global warming's) whims. Woo-hoo, this will be interesting.
My lolo (Mom's dad) passed away last March 28 (Philippine time; March 27, Central Time). Eerily, I had had a nightmare of him dying that morning, and waking up to hear he wasn't doing well was just a bad joke turned wrong. I went into a panic, asking my boss if I could leave, but with stuff going on in the studio and now being a full-time teacher teaching bigger classes, she couldn't afford to let me go. So I stayed, much to my parents' dismay, something to which they are still reproaching me for. How I see it is, if you tried, and couldn't, leave it at that. However young I am, I have lived long enough to understand that. I wish they understood that, too. They have such high expectations, especially on those closer to them, not knowing that those selfsame expectations can drive those people away, like me. And now I have to be home for my granddad's 40th day. Fine, even if that cuts earlier into my work week, removing my days off, but I draw the line when it cuts into an actual work week, where to make it work, I will have to move three teachers, some on their day off, and my schedule becoming an utter mess, of course. Heck, if I found a flight online, why can't the travel agent do so? So no more, especially not when my mother is screaming at me from across the world, laying the guilt, now the silent treatment. No more, after 24 years of it. And the silence? It's great: no more asking me where I am when I'm out with friends and don't have to work 'til 6 the next evening. Nor will you know I will be moving outside of the studio until I have done so (if ever, which hopefully will be a yes, around the Fall). Money will be tighter, but that is my business, and it's a part of growing up: I've gotta deal with it sometime. Crap's been falling the truckload this month, too: Two (or one, as the other is on hiatus) senior full-time teachers are leaving by the end of the month to pursue a well-paying job teaching English overseas, and our boss (director) is not willing to let them go, but to get the job, they have to leave by the end of the month, hence the tension. This, and other personality clashes sometimes (i.e. yoga drama), so not a pretty scenario right now in the studio.
Also did a driver's permit test last Saturday: got a 95 (unbelievably easy?!) Pretty soon, I will learn how to drive (fingers crossed)! :-) Also did my taxes (W-2) for the 1st time, and got my voter's registration. Can't wait. I just tried these two new protein powders for breakfast today...needless to say, I am switching back to my old one when I get the chance. Ok, fixin' now to deposit some money, get my nails done, before teaching this afternoon. Gotta get.
So basically, it's been work, work, work. I love my job. And it's more than a job, after a while. It's my vocation, my profession. It also helps that we are required to practice in the hot room, as well. There are days harder than others, and more exhilarating, but I guess that's just how life is, in general, with highs and lows, so you can differentiate between, and appreciate, each one.
The weather has also changed drastically, at least here in Houston: from 40-50 at night, to 60, now to 70-75 (Fahrenheit). I went out last night to help a colleague, and I remarked at the change in temperature. Of course, that also translates to the hot room, so it's been really humid. And it can only get more humid, and hotter, not of our doing, but according to Mother Nature's (and global warming's) whims. Woo-hoo, this will be interesting.
My lolo (Mom's dad) passed away last March 28 (Philippine time; March 27, Central Time). Eerily, I had had a nightmare of him dying that morning, and waking up to hear he wasn't doing well was just a bad joke turned wrong. I went into a panic, asking my boss if I could leave, but with stuff going on in the studio and now being a full-time teacher teaching bigger classes, she couldn't afford to let me go. So I stayed, much to my parents' dismay, something to which they are still reproaching me for. How I see it is, if you tried, and couldn't, leave it at that. However young I am, I have lived long enough to understand that. I wish they understood that, too. They have such high expectations, especially on those closer to them, not knowing that those selfsame expectations can drive those people away, like me. And now I have to be home for my granddad's 40th day. Fine, even if that cuts earlier into my work week, removing my days off, but I draw the line when it cuts into an actual work week, where to make it work, I will have to move three teachers, some on their day off, and my schedule becoming an utter mess, of course. Heck, if I found a flight online, why can't the travel agent do so? So no more, especially not when my mother is screaming at me from across the world, laying the guilt, now the silent treatment. No more, after 24 years of it. And the silence? It's great: no more asking me where I am when I'm out with friends and don't have to work 'til 6 the next evening. Nor will you know I will be moving outside of the studio until I have done so (if ever, which hopefully will be a yes, around the Fall). Money will be tighter, but that is my business, and it's a part of growing up: I've gotta deal with it sometime. Crap's been falling the truckload this month, too: Two (or one, as the other is on hiatus) senior full-time teachers are leaving by the end of the month to pursue a well-paying job teaching English overseas, and our boss (director) is not willing to let them go, but to get the job, they have to leave by the end of the month, hence the tension. This, and other personality clashes sometimes (i.e. yoga drama), so not a pretty scenario right now in the studio.
Also did a driver's permit test last Saturday: got a 95 (unbelievably easy?!) Pretty soon, I will learn how to drive (fingers crossed)! :-) Also did my taxes (W-2) for the 1st time, and got my voter's registration. Can't wait. I just tried these two new protein powders for breakfast today...needless to say, I am switching back to my old one when I get the chance. Ok, fixin' now to deposit some money, get my nails done, before teaching this afternoon. Gotta get.
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